


your hands may be stained, but they're also gentle

by stellacecfair



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Costa del Sol (Compilation of FFVII), Crushes, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Vulnerability, barret is a lil shy and cloud can't comprehend emotions, barret's life is a whole tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24079015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellacecfair/pseuds/stellacecfair
Summary: "Ain't you gonna go hang out with Tifa?" Barret asks, casting him a suspicious look. "Whatcha lingerin' around here for?"Cloud scowls. "If you don't want me around, I'll go, then.""Wait, I never said that, Spike." Barret becomes very interested in his cocktail, jerking his head to the empty stool next to him. "I- I don't mind if you stay."
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace
Comments: 35
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hmmmm so i've become obsessed with the cloud/barret ship... i adore barret, hot damn his story might be my favourite part of 7. and i just love these two's dynamic together, especially when remake brought it to life. i honestly feel like cloud is more dynamic when barret's around, so, sweet/awkward idiots in love anyone?
> 
> i am so sorry if barret's voice is awful in this, all my writing is awful pls

Stepping onto the harbour of Costa del Sol is such a welcome reprieve from the claustrophobia of the past few hours that Cloud stops to take a few deep breaths. The group spill out around him, all of them full of relief as they take in the sight of palm trees and beach houses- it's quite the change in scenery from Junon and the monster-ridden grasslands.

"Damn, sure is hot here!" Barret says, as the sun burns bright and the excitable chatter of tourists rings in their ears. "'Least it feels better now I've said goodbye to that stupid ass sailor suit."

"Oh, too bad," Aerith giggles. "I liked your sailor suit. You looked so cute."

Barret rounds on her in indignation, his muscles flexing slightly- though Cloud isn't paying attention to that. "Whaddya mean, 'cute'?"

"It made you look so... soft," Tifa says thoughtfully. Barret looks even more disbelieving. "Right, Cloud?"

Cloud startles at being asked for his opinion. He looks upon his... ally's irritable expression, and can't help but think it only fits the girl's description of him. But he would rather jump into the sea than say that openly, so he says, "Ah... You looked like a bear wearing a marshmallow."

He has absolutely no idea why he said that, and the others don't either, as they all shoot him a strange look. Barret, on the other hand, takes the comment as an insult by default and squares up.

"The hell's that supposed to mean? It happened to be the most comfortable thing to wear, so shut up!"

Red sighs and intervenes before Cloud can make a retort. "Would you kindly hurry? This heat is drying my nose."

"Yeah, mine too!" Yuffie says. "Let's go, let's goooo!"

Aerith brushes her hair out of her face and grins up at the sun. "This is the perfect opportunity for us to chill out and take things slow! Let's all stop here for the day and take a look around the resort!"

"We jus' saw Sephiroth and fought a giant alien monster!" Barret says. 

"All the more reason to relax!"

They turn to Cloud for his judgement. Cloud is the one so determined to pursue Sephiroth, after all. But after the fight against Jenova on the ship, he feels nothing but exhausted and no place is more tempting to the exhausted than a breezy holiday resort with nothing going on.

"All right, then, we'll take a break and head off tomorrow," Cloud says slowly. They all beam. "This isn't a holiday, though, we still gotta-"

"My mane is all frizzy. I'm going to rest somewhere cool." Red leaps up and wanders off.

"Don't bother looking for me!" Yuffie yells, already out of sight.

"I might just take you up on that," Cloud mutters. "You guys-"

"I think I'll go to the beach and swim," Tifa says brightly. 

"I'll come with you, Tifa! I feel like sunbathing." Aerith hooks an arm through hers, causing Tifa to make a noise of surprise, but the two girls smile at each other and head off too.

Leaving Barret and Cloud alone.

"Guess it's sun and sea time," Barret says wryly. "I'm goin' somewhere with AC..."

He hesitates for a fraction of a moment, glancing at Cloud, before marching off.

***

Heavy SOLDIER attire does not help Cloud adapt to the heat of Costa del Sol. He wonders why Mako enhancement hasn't helped him in that regard. He fans himself in vein, glancing around at the network of buildings and contemplating where the hell to go. Should he lie on the sand and try and tan, or what?

He wanders aimlessly, catching a volleyball instinctively and lobbing it back to its owner. He notices Red lying beneath the shade of a building, whilst two children bounce a football off his wagging tail and between them. 

"Hm, that's interesting. It's not as if I'm doing this because I want to. You see, this tail of mine moves quite independently of my will," Red says when Cloud approaches, gesturing his head towards it. "Barret went into that bar, by the way."

"He did, did he?" Cloud says, glancing inside. His gaze flickers back to Red, whose furry eyebrow raises. "Like- Like I care. Don't... strain your tail."

He turns and drags his feet away, focusing on the sights around the bar, such as Yuffie standing behind a stall (how did she set that up so quickly?). She has a large array of materia on display, so much that it makes Cloud wary.

"Hey, Cloud!" she yells at him (he’s learning that yelling is her normal manner of speaking). "Come help me make a buck! I'm sellin' materia, got a bunch here for ya!"

"Materia, huh?" Cloud says, advancing. His suspicion grows stronger as he observes her display of orbs. "Hey, those ain't ours, are they?"

Yuffie puffs her chest out indignantly. "What'd ya take me for, spikehead? A thief?"

"Yeah. We met you while you were stealing our materia."

"... Yeah, well, these ain't yours! I'm runnin' an honest trade here!" Yuffie snaps. "If you're just here to criticise, get lost, blondie! Go find Barret or somethin'!"

Cloud frowns. "What are you talking about? Why would I wanna find Barret?"

"Hey, that's for you to know," Yuffie says. "Now get outta the way, I got customers to serve!"

She bodily pushes him out of the way and becomes a glittering salesman for the surfer behind Cloud. Cloud wonders what he'll do with materia, put it in his board?

He glances back at the bar, but looks at Yuffie and decides he's only going there if the world depends on it. He heads towards the beach.

He finds Aerith lying on the sand, whilst nearby swimmers gape at Tifa, who’s already swum out so far she’s a speck in the distance.

“I can’t catch up with her,” Aerith confesses. “I don’t know how she has the energy to do that…”

“Tifa’s got a lotta… pep.” Cloud winces. “So… what are you up to, Aerith?”

Aerith stretches and yawns, shielding her eyes from the sunlight so she can get a better look at him. “I was gonna take a nice nap. Usually I’m all about being adventurous, but when am I next gonna get an opportunity like this?”

“Right…” Cloud mumbles.

She winks at him and shifts into a more comfortable position, settling down for her rest. Cloud digs his feet into the sand and sighs.

Suddenly Aerith opens an eye and peers at him, startling him. “You’ll get bored watching me sleep.”

“I- uh…” Cloud looks away at once. “I wasn’t watchin’ you-”

Aerith’s bubbly giggle drowns him out as she turns around. Cloud hurries away from her at once, loathing the flower-seller’s ability to make him embarrassed as hell. 

He approaches the edge of the sea, just as he sees Tifa leaping into the air, clutching the back of a dolphin. She’s laughing her ass off, even when she hits the water with a large splash. 

“Where the _hell_ did the dolphin come from?” a surfer yelps. 

_She’s having her own fun,_ Cloud thinks, a little forlornly. His shoulders sag and he turns away from the waves.

He knows there’s only one place left to go. 

***

The bar is beautifully cool, and, true to his earlier words, Barret is there, with an exotic drink before him and a miserable expression on his face. 

Cloud lingers in the doorway, before someone pushes past him and forces him inside. He doesn't have time to turn back, because Barret looks up from his drink with a sigh and catches sight of him.

"'Ey, it's my favourite bitchboy," he says. "Enjoyin' yourself?"

"Not now I'm looking at you," Cloud says, taking half a step forward. "It's fucking hot out there."

"Surprised you can feel it," Barret says. "Thought SOLDIERs would be all immune to shit like that."

Cloud shrugs. Now he's in here his resolve has shrivelled up even more until it's nothing, and he wishes he never came. But at the same time he doesn't want to move.

His lack of action attracts Barret's attention.

"Ain't you gonna go hang out with Tifa or somethin'?" he asks, casting Cloud a suspicious look. "Whatcha lingerin' around here for?"

Cloud scowls and makes to turn around. "Fine, I'll go, then."

"Wait, I never said that, Spike." Barret becomes very interested in his cocktail, jerking his head to the empty stool next to him. "I- I don't mind if you stay."

The scowl freezes into place on Cloud's face, because he doesn't know how to respond to this. It's only when Barret makes fleeting eye contact with him that he forces himself to shuffle forwards.

"Um... I'll get a mai tai," Cloud says to the bartender. It feels different saying it to someone who isn't Tifa- they don't give her signature warm smile, rather a shallow giggle as they bounce off to make the drink. 

Silence settles between them. Cloud notices that Barret hasn't actually drunk anything- he's merely playing with his straw. 

"That was some freaky shit on the ship," Barret says finally. "You feelin' all right after it, dumbass?"

"I should be asking you that, pussy, seeing as you're always kicking up a fuss," Cloud responds. Barret huffs a laugh and takes a miniature sip of his pina colada. "I'm all right. Tired as all hell."

"Yeah... it's becomin' a running theme on this little journey," Barret murmurs. "I'm always tired.”

Cloud hums awkwardly. His fingers begin to tap at the counter and his eyes focus on a television above the bar. It's nothing meaningful, it looks like a stupid gossip show, but it distracts him from how sad and weary Barret's eyes look when his sunglasses are off.

Something about Barret in general changes when he removes the shades. Cloud remembers the surprise he felt when he looked fully into that gaze and realised Barret was... well…

“I’m bein’ dramatic as hell,” Barret says suddenly, and he guffaws. “Look at me, sittin’ at a bar counter all mopey. Sorry, Spike, I’m stealin’ your look.”

Though his voice is loud and jokey, Cloud can hear it wavering.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says with a shrug. “You don’t pull it off as well as I do, anyway.”

Barret’s laugh this time is genuine, and it makes Cloud’s chest flutter.

“What are the others up to?” he asks. 

“Red’s taking a nap outside, Yuffie’s selling materia that’s probably all been stolen-”

Barret checks his gun at once.

“She says they ain’t ours,” Cloud says, rolling his eyes. “So I guess we don’t need to worry about that. How would she even get materia from you anyway? It’s in your arm. Unless you were asleep. I wouldn’t put it past Yuffie.”

“Little twit,” Barret agrees, a little taken aback by how much Cloud is talking.

“Anyway, Tifa and Aerith are on the beach. Tifa was riding a fucking dolphin.”

“Dolphin, huh? She’s got a thing for them, don’t she?” Barret chuckles. “I coulda sworn that in one battle I saw two dolphins just fly outta the ground when she was punching the shit out of someone.”

Cloud laughs himself. “Normally I’d call you crazy, but I’ve seen the same thing.”

“Maybe we’re both crazy,” Barret suggests. 

“Maybe. After all the shit that’s gone down, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Affectionately, Cloud nudges Barret- it feels like his elbow is hitting a solid iron block. 

Barret looks surprised by the friendly contact, and Cloud shares the sentiment. He frowns and draws his arm away.

“You’re scarin’ the life out of me, now, Spike,” Barret jokes, though his eyes are averted. “What next, ya gonna give me a kiss on the cheek?”

“Shut your hole,” Cloud says with a scowl. “I’ll give you a _punch_ on the cheek if you ain’t careful.”

“Like- like them skinny little arms could put enough power into a punch.” Barret evidently ignores the presence of the giant sword on Cloud’s back as he says this. “Just admit that you’re gettin’ _friendly._ ”

Cloud scoffs. “I haven’t got there with you yet, Wallace. I still think you’re a shithead.”

“I’ll keep workin’ on my image, then,” Barret murmurs, a small smile playing at his lips. “There’s nobody Barret Wallace can’t win over!”

“Apart from Shinra.”

“Who wants to win over those bastards anyway?” The shyness Barret’s displaying is gone in an instant at the mention of his sworn enemies and Cloud can’t help but grin a little at how predictable he can be. “Wanna order somethin’ to eat, Spike? I’m kinda starving.”

Cloud blinks. If he orders something, then that’s just confirming that he’ll be staying here a long time. Here with Barret. 

“Yeah, go on,” he says. “I could go for some ribs.” 

***

“Hey, Spike. The sun’s settin’.”

Cloud pauses in the midst of sipping his fifth drink and blinks in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed that the bar had become flooded in a deep, orange light.

“Damn,” he says. “How long have we been sitting here for?”

“I’m not sure,” Barret admits. “Guess we got caught up bitching at each other. Think we should go find the others?”

In all honesty, Cloud would love to stay here. Despite being a beach bar it’s surprisingly quiet, the lighting is supremely relaxing and the food’s been great, too. 

Those are the biggest reasons he wants to stay, of course. There aren’t any others, not at all.

But he shrugs and reaches into his pocket for his gil. 

The sky is a beautiful blend of orange and pink when they step outside. It’s not quite as humid as it was before- Barret lets out a sigh as a cooling breeze hits them. 

“That’s the stuff,” he says. “I can actually breathe the air out here. It’s nice.”

He smiles at Cloud, who stares at him and the setting sun for half a second before setting off at a purposeful pace.

“Let’s go and find the others,” he says. “Red was out here before, but I guess he must have moved on.”

“Think they’re at the hotel?” Barret asks.

“Nah, it ain’t that late. Let’s check the beach.” They walk past people who are starting to flock to the clubs, partygoers ready to start their night.

Cloud and Barret don’t say anything as they walk next to each other, but it isn’t a stiff sort of silence, merely a companionable one. Cloud thinks back to when they had run alongside each other in the Mako Reactors- initially the tension in the air had been thick, and Barret hadn’t taken an eye off of him for fear he’d get stabbed in the back. Now they’re ambling along in the breeze, Barret starting up a vague hum.

They’ve been together damn near the whole day and haven’t ripped each other apart yet. Things are completely different than before, and honestly, Cloud kind of likes it. 

“Hey, Spike, is that smoke?” Barret says suddenly. Cloud peers in the direction he’s pointing.

Indeed, there are curls of smoke rising from the beach. Both of them exchange look and start to jog forwards, because smoke means fire and fire means-

They pause when they get a proper glimpse at what’s going on.

“Jus’ a regular ass beach bonfire,” Barret says, huffing a laugh in faint relief. “I’m a clown, ain’t I?” 

“Yeah, you are,” Cloud says, refusing to acknowledge his elevated heartrate. “Hey, there are the others.”

He sees Red from a distance, his tail still wagging, and next to him is Yuffie, holding a huge bag of what he assumes is gil. And there’s Aerith, sitting upright and beaming at them, with Tifa by her side, gazing into the dancing sparks of the nearby fire.

“Hey, guys,” Barret says, when the two of them reach the group. “Sorry we’re late. Spike was bein’ a big old dumbass and causin’ trouble.”

“That’s okay, he does that,” Aerith says with a smile. Cloud gives her an indignant look as he sits on the sand next to her. “We’ve all just been relaxing here. Those guys over there are giving out marshmallows, if you want some.”

“I’ll get us some,” Barret tells Cloud. Cloud nods without a second thought as Barret approaches the bonfire.

Aerith giggles. “That’s cannibalism.”

“No, no, Cloud said he was _wearing_ a marshmallow, so technically he’s just… eating his clothes,” Red says wryly.

Cloud groans and drops his head into his hands. “Guys…”

“You two are getting along so much better than usual,” Tifa says in wonder. “He even offered to get you marshmallows! What did you do to him?”

“That’s- that’s a secret,” Cloud says, blushing faintly, though thankfully the darkening of the sky disguises it. He can feel Aerith’s shrewd gaze on him and it only makes him grow hotter. “I’ll be using my powers strictly for evil.”

“I feel that, blondie,” Yuffie says brightly, jingling her bag of coins. “Look how much gil I made! An’ I didn’t have to spend a single penny to get all that materia!”

Cloud gives her a look. “‘Running an honest trade’, huh?” 

“Hey, all I told ‘em was, ‘there’s materia for sale’. That’s honest!”

“We gotta get a safe or something,” Cloud tells the group. There’s a bubble of laughter at this, which perplexes Cloud, because he’s being one hundred percent serious.

Barret returns with two skewers loaded with gooey marshmallows. He hands one to Cloud and sits next to him.

“What are y’all laughing about?” he asks.

“Yuffie being a thief,” Cloud deadpans. 

Yuffie shakes her head. “I guess I won’t be spendin’ any of my precious gil on you, then!”

“You weren’t gonna in the first place!”

“And we were just talking about how friendly you and Cloud are being lately,” Tifa interjects, before Yuffie can get her shuriken and bury it in Cloud’s head. “It’s all very surprising.”

The stick of marshmallows almost hits the sand, but Barret catches it before it slips from his grip. For a moment he looks like he wants to vehemently refuse her claim, but then he startles Cloud by giving a helpless smile and shrugging. 

“We’re not quite there yet, but I think I’m growin’ on him,” he says. 

“Keep dreaming, shithead,” Cloud responds, but his lips twitch too.

He notices Tifa giving him a confused look.

“Hey, we actually had a question for you, Tifa,” he says hurriedly. “What’s with the dolphins?”

***

The moon emerges over the beach, and they decide to get some sleep for the night.

The idea of leaving Costa del Sol and entering the vast world in pursuit of Sephiroth is unpalatable, to say the least, but it has to be done. Cloud only wishes he could sit out here for longer, tracing shapes in the sand and watching the tide go out.

“Goodnight!” Yuffie yells, as they get their rooms- she gets one with Red, mostly because he doesn’t have many material possessions to steal. “Sleep tight and keep ya materia close to your chest!”

“Goodnight, everyone,” Red says, nodding at them all, the picture of politeness in comparison to his roommate.

Tifa gives Cloud a quick hug goodnight- he’s startled, but gives her a hasty pat on the back- and Aerith holds her hand up in a high-five, which he responds just as awkwardly to.

“Goodnight, Barret!” she calls into their room, because Barret’s already in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He gives a muffled rumble in return.

Cloud nods at them and closes the door behind him. He removes the Buster Sword from his back and places it against the wall, revelling in how loose his shoulders feel without its weight.

“Won’t be a minute,” Barret calls from the bathroom. Cloud grunts. 

The bed he’s sitting on is soft and springy and moonlight floods through the window- perhaps he’ll sleep more easily tonight. He massages the side of his head, realising he hasn’t actually had a headache today.

“Head givin’ ya issues again?” Barret says, emerging and drying his face with one of the fluffy hotel towels. “You should take a painkiller, man.” 

“Nah, I’m good,” Cloud says. “Finished in there?”

“Yeah, you can go... You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. For real.” Cloud gets up from the bed and removes his shoulder plate, placing it on the bedside table. It’s even more of a relief. 

When he leaves the bathroom, Barret is detaching the materia from his gun-arm and pulling back the covers. There’s that sad, tired look in his eyes again, but it disappears when he looks at Cloud.

“G’night, Spike,” he says. He gets underneath the sheets and turns his back so Cloud can’t see his face anymore. 

“... Night, Barret.”

The silence between them stretches out for so long that normally Cloud would assume that Barret has fallen asleep. He's shared a room with Barret before, however, and he knows that when Barret sleeps, he snores. He's definitely still awake.

Cloud waits, his hands curled against his pillowcase. He thinks Barret has something to say.

True to expectations, he murmurs, "Hey, Cloud?"

"Yeah?" Cloud says to the wall, not bothering to pretend he's asleep. He can tell Barret's surprised. 

"N-Nothin'," he says. "I- I forgot what I was gonna say. Night."

Cloud feels disappointed, and he doesn't know why. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, thanks for the nice comments on the previous chapter, i will show my gratitude by disappointing with this one
> 
> thanks for reading genuinely tho :)

Cloud wakes to bright sunlight pressing against his eyelids. He gives a sleepy groan and rolls over, knowing that the sun heralds a new day, and a new day heralds renewed pursuit of Sephiroth. He doesn’t want to get up and face it. 

“Hey, Spike,” he hears Barret say gruffly. “Shift your ass. We’re gettin’ breakfast and splittin’ soon.”

“Don’t need breakfast,” Cloud mumbles. 

“Like hell you don’t need breakfast. Your skinny ass is gonna have some scrambled eggs or else.” 

Cloud opens an eye and surveys Barret, who’s noisily getting his things together. “Concerned for my health?”

“I’m concerned your twig arms will snap if you don’t get some food in you. And we kinda need those arms to swing that sword of yours.” Barret points threateningly at Cloud, but his lips are twitching. “Up. Now.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Cloud hides a smile in his pillow. He doesn’t even know what’s got him grinning.

When he traipses downstairs, he’s greeted with a cheery wave from Aerith and a shy smile from Tifa, along with a slice of bread being thrown at him by Yuffie. He helps himself to some scrambled eggs, sitting across from Barret, who lets out a little huff of amusement. 

“Aerith, tell them about what you heard this morning,” Tifa says. 

“Ah, right. You guys won’t be happy to hear this,” Aerith says. “But I was taking a walk outside this morning and I heard that _Hojo_ was around here yesterday.”

“Hojo?” Red says in disgust. “That scum? How did we not run into him?”

“He might have left before we arrived,” Aerith suggests. “Anyway, I heard from some beach girls- they were _fawning_ over him, it was so weird- that he could’ve headed towards Mount Corel.”

Barret drops his spoon with a heavy clatter.

“What’s up?” Tifa asks. 

“N-Nothin’. Hand slipped. Continue, Aerith.”

Cloud frowns at Barret, and then at Aerith, when he notices her giving him a wistful look.

“Yeah, so, we’ve got something to go off of. He could’ve gone towards Mount Corel,” Aerith repeats, looking away and addressing the table at large. “Anyone up for some mountain climbing?”

“Hell, no!” Yuffie complains. 

“Nobody asked you,” Cloud says. “Guess that’s where we’re going then. We got a long day ahead of us.”

“A brisk mountain walk can do wonders,” Red says. 

Tifa grins at Barret, whose shoulders are slumped. “Looks like this guy doesn’t agree.”

Barret shakes his head. “Nah, I’m fine with it.”

“He couldn’t even manage fifty nine flights of stairs,” Cloud says. “He’s gonna be spent after the first few steps.”

He responds to Barret’s middle finger with one of his own.

“Maybe he can take a ride on Red!” Yuffie suggests.

“No, he most certainly cannot,” Red says, bristling in affront. 

“I don’t need no ride!” Barret says indignantly. “I ain’t even said a word and you’re all jumpin’ down my throat, shut your asses up! I can climb a mountain!”

Laughter travels down the table and everyone returns to eating. Cloud takes a mouthful of eggs, and looks at Barret, expecting him to be glowering.

Instead, the man looks pained. 

Cloud tilts his head inquisitively, but his eyes flicker away when Barret meets his gaze. He turns to listen to Aerith talk about certain characters she encountered on her morning walk- she mentions a familiar name-

“ _Johnny’s_ here?” Tifa enquires. “Oh, Gaia, we should get out of here quickly.”

“He seemed kinda down on his luck,” Aerith says with a faint smile. “I think he misses you.”

“The feeling is _not_ mutual.”

When they all finish eating- Yuffie wants to order a third round of pancakes, but Cloud puts his foot down- they return to their rooms to prepare for their departure. Cloud checks through his materia, thinking that a strong Fire spell will come in handy when they’re back on the road.

“C’mon, Barret, let’s mosey,” Cloud calls to Barret, who’s been holed up in the bathroom. “Hurry up and stop dawdling.”

“Shut the hell up, Spike, I’m comin’.”

“Why’d you look like someone’s kicked you?” Cloud enquires, when Barret emerges, glaring at him. “You… you good?” 

“On top of the world. Now let’s go. Or _mosey,_ was it?” Barret chortles. “Sometimes I don’t know about you.”

“What’s wrong with saying that?”

***

The moment they enter battle Cloud knows for sure that something’s wrong. Barret’s instincts have been nothing short of perfect up till now, and he’s been (though Cloud loathes to admit it) an invaluable partner on the battlefield. Today, however, he’s distracted, and monsters are taking advantage of it.

“What the hell, Barret?” Cloud demands, as Barret gets sent sprawling across the grass. He channels the energy of his healing materia and casts it in his companion’s direction. “What’s up with you today?”

Barret stumbles to his feet, clutching his side. “I’m _fine._ You don’t gotta keep healing me!”

“You could at least say thank you, jackass,” Cloud says irritably. “Focus up!”

“Will you two stop arguing in the middle of fights?” Tifa says, delivering a roundhouse kick to a Blugu. 

“He keeps getting his skin torn out and I keep having to bail him- _agh!”_ Cloud slams against the ground as a bastard Cripshay pins him down. 

Red springs forwards and manages to tear the pincers off of him. As Cloud sits upright, Aerith points her staff at him, and warmth spreads across his body. 

“Looks like both of you need to focus up,” she giggles. 

“Spike, you alright?” Barret shouts, unleashing a flurry of bullets at another Blugu and taking it out.

“I’m fine,” Cloud says through gritted teeth. He adjusts his stance and goes to town on the Cripshay who knocked him down, the tip of his sword only just missing Yuffie, who goes in to make a steal at the last minute.

Finally it’s over, and they all have to pause for a breather. Red offers everyone a drink of water from his ice materia (it doesn’t feel like the right way to use materia, but hey, it saves having to keep space for flasks) and Barret comes up to Cloud to slap him on the back. 

“... Thanks for the help,” he grumbles. “Guess I _was_ distracted.”

“You think?” Cloud says wryly. He shakes his head. “You’re gonna get your ass killed if you keep on like this.”

“Unlike you, I can take a few hits before crumblin’!”

“Next time I’ll leave you to bleed out,” Cloud threatens.

Aerith steps in and grins. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here to heal you, Barret!”

“Thanks, girl. ‘Least one of us is reliable,” Barret says, winking at her. Cloud rolls his eyes.

Tifa is the type of person who never likes to take breaks, so the second they’re all in order again she says, “Alright, let’s keep going!”

“We’re gonna run into another encounter in another five seconds!” Yuffie whines, but nobody pays her any heed as they start walking again.

Barret flags behind the rest of them again. Cloud knows he isn’t good with uphill terrain, but they’re walking across flat ground here, and he’s never been so slow this far. He wonders if Barret picked up an injury and is being prideful and refusing to tell them about it. 

_No, that doesn’t make sense,_ he thinks. _I’ve been healing him all this time. Maybe he’s just tired._

He thinks of asking, but at the same time it’s none of his business why Barret is like this. People have bad days. It’s not necessarily major cause for concern. Why is he so worried?

Cloud shivers at the thought of teasing that would follow if the others knew what was going on in his mind. He can already hear the coos of, _aw, Cloud cares!_

But instead of walking faster, he drops behind, so he’s walking in line with Barret. He receives a questioning look, but doesn’t acknowledge it, instead staring off into the horizon as though he’s scoping out for monsters. 

***

They set up their tent in a safe spot, nearby a river. Yuffie goes off to catch fish with her shuriken (they can hear her yelling and swearing all the way from here).

“According to the map, we’re not too far away from Mount Corel,” Tifa says. “We should reach it by tomorrow afternoon.” 

She says the word ‘afternoon’ with a hint of disdain in her voice. Tifa is very much a morning person, meticulous and organised, fully willing to wake early to pursue their goal. She is alone in this regard.

“The Shinra bastards will be long gone by then,” Barret says, stabbing at the grass with a stick as though it has done him a personal injustice. “They got helicopters.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got no other leads at the moment, so we continue onwards!” Aerith says. Her cheeriness seems to irritate Barret and he turns away with a scowl. “Aw, c’mon, Barret, don’t be like that. It’s an adventure!”

Barret shrugs and mutters something inaudible. 

“I do believe Yuffie is frightening away our dinner,” Red says idly, as they hear her yell “GET OVER HERE, YOU BASTARD FISH! YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME!”

A loud splash and a frustrated wail from the ninja follows.

“Good grief,” the canine murmurs. “We should act before we go hungry tonight.” 

Tifa sighs. “Shall we go into the nearest town and pick up some provisions? It’s a few miles off.”

“I think that would be best,” Aerith says, suppressing a smile. “I’ll come with you, Tifa.”

“Want me to come?” Cloud asks, reaching for his sword. Aerith shakes her head. 

“No, we can handle ourselves. We could use some quality bonding time!” she says coyly, and Tifa turns slightly pink. “You boys keep the camp safe!”

Cloud shrugs and leans backwards, resting against a large rock as the girls disappear into the distance. The sky is deepening in colour and though clouds are drawing closer together, there’s a visible sprinkling of stars, unlike anything they’d ever see in Midgar.

“I’ll go and calm Yuffie down,” Red says, because neither Barret or Cloud have the patience for her antics and would most likely end up fighting her. He springs upright and bounds off.

The only sound that punctures the silence between the remaining two men is the flowing of the nearby river. It’s nice. Cloud closes his eyes, feeling relaxed even as the distant cursing of Yuffie and Red’s attempted placation mars the otherwise serene atmosphere.

After a while, despite his previous stormy mood, Barret begins to hum. Minutes pass, and Barret turns to singing under his breath. It startles Cloud, but it’s actually quite soothing, especially in comparison to the man’s usual musical attempts, like that godforsaken victory song. Cloud tips his head to the side, breathing in and out as he listens to the crooning.

Eventually Barret trails off. Cloud opens his eyes and observes him, seeing a familiar troubled frown on his features. 

“What is it?” Cloud asks. 

Barret raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s what?”

“The song,” Cloud says. 

“... Thought you were asleep. Didn’t know you could hear my beautiful voice.” Barret exhales, looking sheepish. “It’s… It's jus’ a song from my childhood. Used to sing it to Marlene when she was real little. It was the only thing that’d make her go down for the night.”

“Huh.” Cloud turns his attention to the grass. “It’s nice.”

A shy grin crosses Barret’s face. “Figures you’d like a lullaby, Spike, you big baby.”

“If they can put me to sleep it means I don’t have to talk to you, so I’m all for them.” 

Barret laughs, and Cloud notices that he seems slightly more cheerful at the exchange of insults. He points up at the sky.

“Ah, my angel Marlene. I’d love to take her out here," he says tenderly. "There ain’t no steel plates blockin’ out the stars, there ain't no smell of mako... She’d be goin’ out of her damn mind seein’ it all."

"It sure is different from the Sector 7 slums," Cloud acknowledges. "Though the giant ass snakes and weird pot monsters kinda ruin the scenery."

"Yeah, might not be an ideal vacation spot," Barret sighs. “I miss her, though. I'd do anything to be with her right now.”

“Elmyra will take care of her,” Cloud says. “She’ll be safe.”

Barret curls his hand into a fist. “I know. Probably a damn sight more safe than she’d ever be with me.”

Before Cloud can say anything to this, Red returns, soaking wet and with a highly aggrieved Yuffie in tow. As per usual she’s in full flow and complaining about something or another, probably the fact they’re not relying on her non-existent fishing skills for dinner. 

Shaking his head, Barret sighs and gets to his feet, muttering that he’s going to take a walk by the river- he tells them to call him when Tifa and Aerith return. Cloud watches him go, before dropping his head and closing his eyes once more. _Damn it._

***

That night, the sky opens and rain begins to pour. 

Cloud’s eyes drift open, and for a moment the world is fuzzy as he tries to remember where he is. His eyes catch a glimpse of flashing red, and he blinks- but relaxes as he realises it’s only Red’s tail, wagging slowly in the darkness. 

He listens to the droplets hammering against the roof of the tent, feeling vaguely disgruntled at being woken up. He hears a murmur from next to him.

Barret’s back presses against his. In the first few days of camping the closeness made Cloud hot and uncomfortable, particularly as Barret is a human furnace, but he’s gotten used to it. Barret can’t exactly help his size, and they haven’t found a bigger tent yet. It doesn’t stop Cloud from elbowing him once in a while, though. 

Barret makes a sleepy noise again. Cloud shifts to his side and sees him stirring.

"Dyne?" Barret yawns, his eyes fluttering. “That you?”

"It's Cloud," Cloud whispers. "Go back to sleep."

"Huh… ‘kay… " Barret mutters. He rubs his face with a huge hand and curls closer into himself with a sigh. “See you soon, brother…”

He's clearly dreaming. Cloud frowns, but after a few seconds of continued incoherent mumbling, Barret settles down once more. 

_Dyne,_ Cloud thinks. _I've never heard that name before._

He doesn't think too hard on it. He buries his head into his arm and closes his eyes again, and eventually falls back into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, not like dyne references tear out my whole heart
> 
> just a warning, i know i put ff7 remake in the tags, but if you haven't played the original this will be touching on events and backstory (very sad backstory) that happens in that game so there might be spoilers if you're remake only. though ffs, you need to get on and play the original already!!! it's so much damn fun!!!
> 
> thanks for reading again :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :) thank you all for the nice comments on past chaps
> 
> this is a very self indulgent chapter, and i kinda make up how chocobos work, though i doubt it's going to be world shattering

“Cloud, you’re scaring it!”

Indignant squawks come not only from his companions, but also from the disgruntled bird standing before him. Cloud swears as the chocobo he’s been trying to catch for the past fifteen minutes bounds off in terror and draws the Buster Sword, waving it in the big fucking chicken’s direction. He’ll turn the next one he sees into _kebab meat._

“Good one, Spike,” Barret calls from his own chocobo. He’s been watching Cloud’s strife with undisguised joy this whole time. “I see you’re jus’ as good with animals as you are with humans. Which is to say, not good at all.”

“You’ve got to be more gentle as you approach them with the gysahl greens,” Tifa says, stroking her mount’s feathery head- it seems to adore her, closing its eyes and relishing the affection. The sight only pisses Cloud off more. “You need to look... _approachable._ ”

“Come on, Cloud, just turn on your hidden charms! Show your gentleness and connection with the world around you!” Aerith suggests, her eyes twinkling. Cloud shoots her a filthy look as she buries her head into her chocobo’s neck to muffle her laughter. 

“Enjoying yourself, are you?” he snaps. “This is _bullshit._ We wouldn’t be in this position if we hadn’t listened to Barret, let alone that idiot over there-”

He points at Yuffie, who raises her shuriken and yells, “Who’s the idiot?”

She’d _begged_ for them to lure chocobos for an easier journey to Mount Corel, which had resulted in several frustrating battles and fruitless attempts to tame the wild birds. The others had managed to find their match eventually, but Cloud, as per usual, had been left as the only one with no partner. 

“Aw, Spike’s mad, all ‘cause chocobos don’t like his moody ass,” Barret says with a grin, as Cloud shakes his head and glares at the grass. “C’mon, you can do it. Don’t go givin’ up hope!” 

“This is idiotic!” Cloud says. “You should all get off your chocobos so we can walk there instead, we’ll never get to Mount Corel at this rate-”

“Ha! You’re crazy, blondie!” Yuffie laughs. “Just ‘cause you don’t know how to do anything doesn’t mean you should drag us down with you. Maybe we should all just leave you behind!”

Cloud raises his sword, prepared to engage in battle, but is quelled by a look from Tifa. How she manages to look so fiercely motherly, Cloud doesn’t know, but it gets him to stand down.

“Look, if you can’t get one of your own, why don’t you join us on one of ours?” she says. “The chocobo might be slowed down by the weight, but we don’t have many options.”

Aerith perks up from her chocobo, her eyes glinting with a mischief that is now ominously well-known to Cloud. “Yeah! Why don’t you share with _Barret_ , Cloud? It might get a little close for comfort, but it’ll be a learning experience. A good ride can _really_ open one’s eyes.”

It’s scary how easily she turns the schadenfreude Barret has been indulging in against him- he breaks into an embarrassed coughing fit, causing his bird to startle at the noise and arch upwards, flinging him off its back and onto the grass.

“Hey! Wait!” Barret yells, as the chocobo races off. “Come back! I wasn’t- I didn’t- _damn it!_ ”

“Honestly!” Tifa says, as Aerith clutches her sides and Cloud's eyebrows elevate to the heavens. “Now look what you’ve done!”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Barret says, scrambling to his feet. 

“I suppose you should have suggested Cloud ride with somebody else, Aerith,” Red says dryly.

Cloud stares at Barret as the man rushes to cram his fallen sunglasses on his face. “What the fuck was that about, Wallace? And you were saying _I’m_ not good with animals?”

“Shut up the hell- I mean, shut the hell up!” Barret stammers. “I wasn’t- you were- Aerith- ugh!”

Embarrassment renders him incoherent, and everyone’s disbelieving stares do not help him become more articulate.

“I’ll go and get it back,” Barret mumbles finally. He looks scarily reminiscent of a downtrodden Johnny as he slumps over and starts doing a walk of shame away from them, especially with Aerith cackling at him in the background.

“Take Cloud with you!” Tifa calls after him. “Honestly, it’s a miracle we get anywhere at all…”

“Why do I gotta take Cloud with me?”

“So you can have someone to help you with monsters. _And_ so you can give him a ride on your chocobo.” Tifa shoots Barret such a forbidding look he doesn’t even try to complain. “We’ll be waiting here.”

Giving into the weight of Tifa's glare, Cloud sighs and goes after Barret, resolutely ignoring Aerith as she sings, "Enjoy the ride, guys!"

***

Frogs croak and birds tweet as Barret and Cloud creep through the forest in pursuit of the lost chocobo. In recollection of the many times he’s been turned into a toad so far, Cloud keeps one hand near his pouch, a maiden’s kiss at the ready, and another at the hilt of his sword.

“Marlene!” Barret calls to the trees. Cloud rolls his eyes, of course he called his chocobo Marlene. “Marlene, come back! I didn’t mean to scare ya!”

“This is so goddamn stupid,” Cloud mutters, as they pick their way through the leaves on the ground. “We could have been well on our way to Mount Corel by now. Except here we are, looking for the chocobo you lost by being an idiot.”

“That wasn’t my fault!” Barret hisses. “Ain’t a man allowed to cough?”

“I don’t even get why you made us listen to Yuffie in the first place,” Cloud says. “All it did was waste time...”

“Well, we didn’t know you’d be so shit at catching a chocobo,” Barret says, smirking.

Cloud scowls heavily. “I don’t get why they’ve got it out for me. I never did anything to them.”

“Aw, Spike!” Barret reaches out his hand and ruffles the smaller man’s hair, ignoring Cloud’s furious glare. “Ain’t you an adorable little chocobo? You sad you can’t bond with your kind?”

A sudden jolt runs through Cloud’s head and he tenses up. 

_“Aw, Cloud, your hair’s just like a chocobo nest! Stop making me wanna squeeze the life out of you!”_

Barret withdraws his hand at once. “Spike?”

“... Shit,” Cloud gasps, pressing a hand to his temple. “Sorry.”

“What’s the matter?” Barret insists. 

“It’s nothing.”

Barret frowns. “You sure you’re-”

Cloud cuts him off by slamming into him, pushing him behind a tree. Barret makes a noise of surprise and is about to swear, but Cloud slaps a hand over his mouth to silence him. After making sure Barret understands the need to be quiet, he puts his finger to his lips and lowers his hand.

“What the hell, Spike?” Barret demands in an undertone. “What did ya do that for?”

“Look,” Cloud whispers. He points from beyond the tree.

They’ve reached a clearing, and resting in that clearing is a familiar yellow creature.

“Oh, shit!” Barret murmurs. “It’s Marlene!”

He sounds genuinely happy, and Cloud imagines his eyes lighting up from behind those shades (part of him wishes Barret would take them off, part of him wonders why he cares). 

“What do we do now?” Cloud says, distracting himself before his thought process can go off the rails.

“Jus’ leave it to me. I got some Mimmett Greens up my sleeve, that chocobo will be back by my side in no time.” Barret grins at Cloud. “Watch and learn.”

Cloud scowls. 

“Don’t worry, Spike, I’ll teach you my secret. You won’t be left in the dark forever,” Barret says, patting Cloud’s shoulder. And then his eyes widen a fraction. “Uh…”

“What is it?” Cloud says distractedly, still observing the chocobo. 

He looks at Barret when there’s no response. The other man is looking down at him very awkwardly- it’s only then that Cloud realises they’re still _very_ close together. 

“Oh.” Cloud steps back, his entire body flaring with heat. “Sorry.”

Barret shakes his head, rubbing his stubble nervously. He turns his head away from Cloud. “S’okay. O-Okay, you wait here, and I’ll- I’ll go get Marlene.” 

“Okay…” He presses himself against the tree trunk as Barret edges forwards slightly, greens in hand. He doesn’t know why his hands have started sweating so much.

Barret pauses a few feet away from the chocobo. She doesn’t notice him as she dozes, the sun poking through the trees and bathing her in a brilliant glow.

“Hey, Marlene,” Barret says softly. At the noise she jerks head up in alarm, but Barret holds his arms up and keeps at a distance. “Sorry for startlin’ you earlier. Didn’t mean to.”

“ _Kweh._ ” It's a cold sound. Barret winces.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Honestly, though, it ain’t my fault. It’s Cloud’s. Be mad at him,” he murmurs. From his hiding spot behind the tree, Cloud rolls his eyes. “It won't happen again. Will ya come back to me?” 

“ _... Kweh._ ” Now she sounds pensive.

Barret tiptoes further into the clearing when he recognises his chance, holding out the Mimmett Green. Marlene eyes it warily, not knowing whether to accept the bribe.

Once he’s close, Barret begins to whistle softly. Cloud remembers him doing it earlier to quiet the bird, but he doesn't recognise the tune. It works, though- Marlene’s baleful gaze softens, and eventually she gets to her feet and wanders closer to him, bending over to peck the vegetable out of his hand.

“Atta girl!” Barret says, beaming. “Ain’t you gorgeous! Livin’ up to your namesake."

" _Kweh!_ "

Barret laughs. "Those greens worked a charm, didn't they? Okay, Spike, you can come out now!”

Cloud steps out from behind the tree, surveying Marlene carefully. She’s more interested in the food than him, not bestowing upon him the chocobo hostility he’s become accustomed to.

“So, music makes a comeback and saves the day, huh?” he notes. “What was that whistling?”

“Oh, that... An- an old friend taught me that trick. It’s meant to calm ‘em,” Barret shrugs and smiles at Cloud. “Doesn’t always work, but hey. We got our Marlene back.”

“Alright then,” Cloud says, still not trusting that Marlene won’t bolt. “So… I’ll get on behind you, if she'll take me?”

Barret glances at Cloud in confusion as he ruffles Marlene’s feathers. “Huh?”

“You… uh…” Cloud gestures at the chocobo. “Remember what the others said? That I should get on a chocobo with one of you guys ‘till I learn to tame one?” 

“Oh. Oh! That’s- that’s cool.” Barret seems as embarrassed as he was before as he pats Marlene’s side. “Sorry, Marlene, you’re gonna have some weight put on ya. That okay?"

" _Kweh._ "

"I guess that's a yes," Barret says. "Try not to collapse, girl.”

“Hey, I’m sure she’s used to it, she’s had you sittin’ on her. It can’t get much worse for her.”

“You’re right, what was I saying?” Barret says. “You’re such a skinny little bag o’ bones that she won’t feel a thing.”

Cloud rubs his leanly muscled arms and glares at Barret, who chortles and flings a leg around Marlene’s back. He gestures vaguely for Cloud to get on.

 _Oh, Gaia._ Cloud shakes his head to rid himself of his trepidation. He’s a fucking SOLDIER First Class, he’s been in far more compromising positions before, the swooping of his stomach is absurd and childish. Assuming an expression of an businesslike _adult,_ Cloud strides purposefully forward and hoists himself onto the chocobo. 

His hands linger by his sides for a moment, unsure of where to go, before he leans forwards and places his arms around Barret.

Barret jumps as though Cloud has hit all his major pressure points, and Cloud pulls his hands back like he’s been hit with . “Spike? What the-”

“I gotta put my arms around your waist!” Cloud wants to jump off the chocobo and burrow into the ground. “‘Cause, I’ll be off-balance if I don’t hold onto something! Might fall off...”

“Oh...” Barret says. “Like ridin’ on a motorbike?”

Cloud nods, remembering a certain bomb mechanic. It feels like so long ago... “Like riding- riding on a motorbike.”

“Well… okay, then. Sorry ‘bout that.” Barret swallows. “L-Let’s get goin’, then.”

***

It’s surprisingly easy for Cloud to forget his embarrassment as he and Barret ride through the forest and back towards the plains. He closes his eyes and lets the wind whip against his face as Barret guides Marlene forwards, murmuring encouragement under his breath.

“Still spooked by chocobos, Spike?” Barret asks, when they’re at an even trot. “Or are you comin’ round?”

“ _I_ was never spooked,” Cloud says. “They were spooked by me.”

“Heh, don’t go acting like it wasn’t mutual. I saw those big beautiful eyes go all wide every time you saw a bird. Not to mention all that sword wavin'. Pussy boy.”

When they reach the others, they’re predictably greeted with catcalls and wolf whistles (the majority coming from Aerith, who derives too much pleasure from Cloud being flustered). Cloud flips them off and Barret rubs the back of his head with his gun-arm, his nervousness probably making him forget how dangerous that is.

“You two don’t mind riding with each other, then?” Red says. "Cloud seems to be quite at ease."

Though he flounders at the question at first, Barret eventually reaches behind him to give Cloud a slap on the back. “Marlene don’t mind Spike boy, over here. Who knows, maybe soon he’ll be able to find a chocobo of his own.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cloud says, looking away. “Can we finally get fucking going?”

“Now you’re back we can go,” Tifa says, consulting her map. “We keep going from here towards Mount Corel.”

Cloud feels Barret’s stomach tense.

“Come on!” Yuffie yells. She urges her chocobo forwards. “Race you there!”

“You’re on!” Aerith calls with a grin. She nudges her chocobo and sets off at a sprint. 

Tifa gives an exasperated sigh. “Where are you even racing to?”

The other two are too far away to answer, the only thing that can be heard is their laughter dancing in the wind. Tifa’s eyes crease into a smile despite herself and she follows them, with Red bounding after her.

Cloud pokes Barret’s back when he doesn't move. “We’re gonna get left behind.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Barret says. He pats Marlene’s head. “C’mon, girl, let’s go.”

Silence settles between them, the world whizzes by at a pleasant pace. Cloud tips his head backwards, the only thing he can hear is the occasional cry from Marlene. 

“Cloud,” Barret says suddenly, breaking through the serenity. “When we get to Corel…”

“What?” 

Barret sighs. “Shit might- shit might happen.” 

“You mean it might be dangerous?” Cloud asks. “You say that like we’ve not faced guns and war mechs and crazy swordsmen and alien space monsters.”

“Yeah…”

“You’ve been to Corel before, I’m guessing,” Cloud says. “Not a fan?”

A listless shrug answers his question.

“Can’t be worse than the Shinra building. Or the slums. Or those fucking sewers. A hell of a lot of places, actually.”

There’s no response. Cloud delivers a punch to Barret’s back, causing the bigger man to growl threateningly. “What’s up with you, big guy? Hiding something? I never pegged you as a man of mystery.”

“I can be mysterious,” Barret mutters. “I’m a leader of an eco revolutionary group, I got subtlety behind me.”

“Yeah, the subtlety of a goddamn explosion,” Cloud snorts. “Wallace, you’re open for all the world to see.”

“Is that a fact?” Barret’s voice is so soft Cloud has to strain to hear him. 

“It’s indisputable.”

Now it’s Barret’s turn to snort, though the solemnity remains. “Look at you, Spike, actin’ like you’re anythin’ different. You ain’t as closed up as you’d like to believe.”

Cloud’s smile fades and he stiffens. 

“I heard from Aerith you went dressin’ up as a girl in Wall Market,” Barret says quickly, after a few moments of silence. “Full length purple gown and all. You ain’t got so many inhibitions after all, huh?”

“Asshole!” Cloud groans, relaxing again. He's talking about both Barret and Aerith. “Of course she went and told you. _Tifa_ promised _she_ wouldn’t.”

“Trustin’ Aerith to keep her mouth shut about somethin’ that juicy? You outta your mind?” Barret laughs. “Don’t worry, Spike. I’m sure you made a pretty girl. I mean, Corneo picked you, didn’t he?”

The slap Cloud gives him doesn’t stop Barret from doubling over in laughter. “I nailed the shit out of it, Wallace, tiara and all. You could never.”

“I’m gonna take that as a good thing.”

“I mean, you got the eyes for it. Shame you ain’t got anything else.”

“Damn, you bein’ a flirt, there, SOLDIER boy?”

“You wish. I’ve sat on Don Corneo’s bed. I got standards, now, and you’re well below them.”

Marlene gives a confused _kweh_ as Barret cracks up laughing and Cloud follows suit.

“Damn, Spike, that’s cold,” he says. “Bein’ below Don Corneo… I’d be reachin’ the planet’s core.”

“Lower than that.” The two of them glance to the side and realise they’ve caught up to Tifa. “Corneo is a special type of sicko. Poor Barret isn’t that bad.”

Huffing a laugh, Cloud jabs Barret in the side to make him jump. “Tifa, you got no idea.”

“Thought he was growing on you?” she enquires, lips quirking.

“His words. Not mine.” 

“A man can dream,” Barret says.

Their chuckles lapse into a relative quiet as they continue their journey. As they canter along, Cloud thinks that for a moment, just a moment, the weight disappeared from Barret’s shoulders. It returned full force when they stopped speaking, but… 

Perhaps he’ll be able to remove it again when they get to Corel. It seems like a long shot, considering he doesn’t know why Barret doesn’t like the place, but it’s worth a try. 

Cloud laments the realisation that he cares about hearing Barret laugh. But he decides not to resist it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very much enjoying this background rivalry between yuffie and cloud and writing aerith as being the ultimate shit-talker
> 
> barret was whistling the chocobo theme. subtlety? i don't know her.
> 
> i'm glad you all seem to be enjoying this! pain will be incoming but also awkward romance between these two so never fear
> 
> thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words can't express how sorry i am for how many months have gone by.... i can't explain it life truly gets in the way, and im not sure if anyone even remembers this fic and i wouldnt expect consistent updates, but this draft has been lingering so... and its bad :(((
> 
> this is also a much shorter and messier chap uhghgsuhrihg i am sorry

_“Ain’t you a little angel!”_

_It’s been a month, so Barret should be past the stage of absolute awe by now, but he still can’t help but feel tears brim in his eyes as he looks down into little Marlene Heartilly’s eyes. Dyne teases him about it from time to time, and Eleanor always looks a little taken aback at him spontaneously bursting into tears, but they both understand._

_Barret cherishes Marlene because he’ll never have a child of his own. He and Myrna discovered that after several years of fruitless attempts and frustration. But that doesn’t matter right now, because he’s Marlene’s godfather and she’s goddamn beautiful and his best friend is so happy and everything is perfect._

_“Y’know, Eleanor gets real jealous of you sometimes,” Dyne jokes, sidling up to Barret and lightly tickling the top of Marlene’s head. “She thinks Marlene’s more taken with you than she is with her own momma.”_

_“Aw, that’s bull,” Barret says, making a goofy face at the blinking baby in his arms. “Marlene’s got love for everybody.”_

_Marlene curls her hand around one of Barret's fingers._

_“She ain’t got love for her milk, though. Takes damn near a day to get her to finish a bottle.” Dyne strokes Marlene’s stomach. “She’s been uneasy, lately. Not been sleeping much either. You don’t think there could be a problem, do ya?”_

_A gurgle comes from Marlene, and she releases Barret's finger to reach for Dyne's, as though to soothe him. Dyne’s face, lined with anxiety, relaxes into a smile and he kisses her forehead._

_“I couldn't tell ya,” Barret says, surveying Marlene closely but not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “If there is a problem, why don’t you call a doctor?”_

_“I don’t got the gil,” Dyne admits. He scrubs a coal-dust stained hand through his hair. “It’s hard providing for three of us now. Let alone getting hold of a doctor.”_

_Barret tips his head against Dyne’s. “That’s what you got me for.”_

_“No way in hell,” Dyne says firmly. “Barret, you’ve done enough.”_

_“There ain’t a limit on what I can do for you,” Barret chides him. “I’m givin’ you the gil.”_

_“You’re not giving me shit, you’re_ lending _it, ‘cause I’m gonna pay it back.”_

_“Like hell you’re gonna pay it back. You’re gonna take the money and you ain’t gonna give me nothin’ in return.” Barret gives Marlene a little squeeze. “Tell him, Marlene.”_

_Marlene babbles something incoherently._

_“See? She’s agreein’ with me,” Barret says with a grin. Dyne rolls his eyes at his daughter and slings an arm around Barret’s shoulder._

_“Gaia, you’re a pain in the ass,” he says. He’s reluctant, embarrassed, but under the force of Barret’s gaze he concedes. “Fine. I love you, brother.”_

_Barret settles his head against Dyne's. “I love you too.”_

Barret flinches at the voice in his head, his own voice, distant and lazily affectionate, and blinks heavily to shatter the memory at the surface of his mind.

They're on a mountain road. Monsters are everywhere. The air is brisk. 

_Focus._

Barret walks far ahead of the others with Tifa. This isn’t a normal occurrence, but he’s full to the brim with nervous energy right now- though he initially felt like he was going to faint when they reached Mount Corel (after Gaia knows how many hours of wasted time), now the adrenaline coursing through him could carry him several miles.

Despite this, he's managing to maintain his composure. Nobody else notices anything amiss with him, so he he's been able to keep to himself, tuning out the others’ babbling and arguments in the process. Maybe he could keep this up for the whole journey- if it wasn’t for one irritating thing.

Tifa keeps looking at him.

Barret knows she’s not the most open person in the world, always hovering uncertainly on the periphery when it comes to expressing her thoughts, so he tries to give her time. But it’s starting to get _really_ annoying. Especially when his eyes flicker to her and she immediately fastens her gaze to the ground, as though she’s a master of subtlety.

“ _What?_ ” he demands finally, when she glances at him for the thirty fifth time in the last five minutes. “For Gaia’s sake, Lockhart, what the hell is it?”

She blinks in surprise, before assuming a defensive expression. “What do you mean, what is it?”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Barret grunts. It takes effort to inject his usual amount of grumpiness into his voice. “You’ve been givin’ me looks ever since we started climbin’ this goddamn mountain. What’s with you?”

“What’s with _you?_ ” Tifa says indignantly. “I’m just looking around at the scenery. If I end up looking at you it’s pure- pure coincidence.”

“I see. And if you end up tumblin’ down this mountain side right now, it’ll be pure coincidence too, as there are lots of rocks you could trip over. _Spit it out!_ ”

Tifa grits her teeth. Doe eyes have never worked on him (unless they’re from Marlene), so she knows the game’s up. “I wanted to ask you about Cloud.”

Raising his eyes to the heavens, Barret says, “You wanted to ask me about _Spike?_ Here I thought it was somethin’ important.”

“It _is_ kind of important,” Tifa says. “Well, not important, just… an observation.”

“Why would you wanna observe him?” Barret asks wryly, as though he hasn't been casting his fair share of glances at Cloud Strife over the past few days. 

“Do you think he seems… okay?” Tifa says uncertainly, ignoring the jab. She wrings her hands as she walks. “Like… normal?”

“Normal as in, actin’ all cool but really being a big whiner? Sure. Seems normal to me.”

"I mean it," Tifa insists. “Don’t you think he’s acting a bit weird?”

Barret notes the real concern in Tifa’s voice and frowns. “Tifa, he’s actin’ the same as he has done from the beginning. He ain’t any less or more of a dick than he was before.”

“Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have asked you,” Tifa mutters. “It’s not like you _actually_ care about him.”

“I jus’ don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. Maybe he’s changed since you guys were kids and it’s throwin’ you off?”

“It’s not really that.”

“Then what?” Barret says. “I guess I have noticed the weird headaches he gets… But maybe they’re from stress. This ain’t the most peaceful journey, is it?”

There’s no response from Tifa, who’s now hugging her arms to her chest. Barret narrows his eyes at her and glances back down the mountain path at Cloud, who’s currently being teased by Aerith (and restraining himself from throttling Yuffie, who keeps knocking her shuriken against his shoulder plate). 

“I do care about him, y’know,” Barret says gruffly. “I may not know him as well as you do, but I know he’s a good guy. He’s… my friend now. So if you think there’s reason to worry, I’ll look out for him.”

Surprise flickers in Tifa’s eyes. “Really?”

“Sure. Why you lookin’ so surprised?”

“You’re singing a different tune than the one you sang back in Midgar, that’s all,” Tifa says. “You guys really have gotten close, haven’t you? Aerith noticed it first, and I didn’t believe it- you used to rant about him all the time. But now I see it.”

Barret shrugs dismissively. “Whatever.”

“Don’t get embarrassed. It’s nice.”

“I ain’t embarrassed!”

He says it inordinately loudly, so much so that there’s giggles from the others, and Cloud of all people says, “You should be, Wallace. I’d be embarrassed if I was you.”

"You don't even know what we're talkin' about, shithead!" Barret barks at him. 

"I know, but it's you. And you're embarrassing."

Barret could strangle the little bastard. _And_ Tifa, who hides her giggles in her gloves and bounds ahead before she can trip over some rocks and fall off the mountain.

The next thing Barret knows, Cloud is marching alongside him.

"Why are you here?" Barret growls at him.

"Problem?" Cloud shoots back. "Yuffie's been driving me nuts, so I thought I'd speed up to avoid her."

His eyes flicker to where Tifa is, strolling further ahead than the entire group. Barret gazes between both of them and vaguely wonders if Cloud wants to stay close to her.

He sure is a chicken shit, if that's the case. There was all the time in the world for him to join them before. 

Or maybe...

No. That's not it. 

"Right, so now you've come to drive me nuts," Barret sighs theatrically, to cover up how inexplicably flustered he feels. "Well, don't go complainin' if you get left in the dust."

Cloud snorts. "Like I can't out-pace you, Wallace. Though I have to admit, you've been doing pretty good on this mountain."

"Yeah, well." 

"What gives?" Cloud says. "You didn't seem eager about going to Corel before, and now you're practically runnin' to get there."

Swallowing, Barret reaches up to push at his sunglasses. As much as he wants to come up with a response- it shouldn't even be difficult, all he has to do is say that they've wasted so much time already that he wants to be quicker- no words come to mind. So he decides not to answer at all.

He can feel Cloud's eyes on him, but if there's one good thing about the irritating SOLDIER, it's that he understands boundaries. Relief fills Barret as Cloud shrugs, indicating that the subject is dropped.

The two of them trek silently along for a while, and Barret tries to communicate with a look how grateful he is. Unfortunately, Cloud isn't looking at him anymore, and is instead staring out into the horizon.

When Tifa turns around to cast a look at them, Barret suddenly remembers what they were talking about.

"How're _you_ feelin', Spike?" Barret asks. "You good?"

Cloud's eyebrows raise at the question. "I'm just peachy, thanks."

"You sure?" Barret asks. "You had one of those headaches in the forest yesterday, didn't you?"

"Oh... uh.. I did?" It's an entirely unconvincing attempt at nonchalance. "I don't remember. It's no big deal."

"Huh," Barret says suspiciously. "They hurt a lot?"

A rock goes skittering across the path as Cloud kicks at it. "No. It's nothing, really."

Barret understands boundaries too, and knows he'll be a raging hypocrite if he keeps pushing at a topic that clearly makes Cloud uncomfortable. Maybe Tifa is right to be concerned- those cold SOLDIER eyes rarely look so doleful.

Or maybe they're both forgetting how stressful this mission is in general. Why wouldn't Cloud be acting a little weird when he knows facing Sephiroth is on the agenda? Is it really something deeper than that? 

Damn it, Tifa. Barret's been overthinking enough already... now he has to keep a close eye on Spike, on top of everything else, and make sure he's okay.

Why does it all have to be so difficult?

Their path is curling downwards now, and Barret knows they'll be reaching the abandoned railway tracks soon. His fingers tap at the side of his leg erratically.

Biggs used to tap too, in patterns of four- often several times in a row- to stave off the anxiety he always got, whether it was before missions or if an everyday situation stressed him out. Jessie always used to mock him because of it, but Barret understood his old comrade completely. Back when he had two hands he would wring them together constantly when nervous, pulling at his fingers and thudding his fist into his palm and cracking his knuckles-

"You plannin' on gunning me down?" Cloud's voice speaks up beside him.

With a start, Barret notices his compatriot is staring at his gun-arm. Barret realises that he's been fidgeting with it- it's pointed in Cloud's direction.

"Sorry, Spike," Barret says. "Wasn't payin' attention..."

"I'll say," Cloud says. He mimes getting shot, taking a step backwards, and Barret smiles in mild surprise at the rare display of theatrics. Pink dusts Cloud's cheekbones almost instantly- that was a very Aerith thing to do, and Cloud is no Aerith. "D- Didn't take you for a squirmy bastard. That was always a Biggs thing..."

The mention of his name out loud does something to Barret's stomach, but all he does is nod. He starts tapping his fingers against the gun again, harder and faster-

A hand closes around his wrist.

Barret looks up in shock, and sees Cloud watching him carefully. 

"We can take a break, if you need it," he says. "Yuffie's been buggin' for one for ages, it might shut her up."

At that precise moment, Yuffie yells, "When can we stop?"

Her whining has never been more welcome. Barret jerks his head at Cloud. "... Yeah. Yeah, a break would be good."

"Okay," Cloud says. He turns his head towards the rest of them. "Let's just listen to the brat and take a moment!"

"Really?" Tifa calls, whirling around. "But we've still got a long way to go-"

She stops when her eyes fall on Barret and Cloud.

"Um," she says. "Why are you holding Barret's hand?"

In an instant, Cloud goes the colour of Aerith's dress and drops Barret's wrist. Barret wants to fall through the mountain right then and there. "We were- um- about to- do an arm wrestle?"

Barret is unsure if he's ever heard a worse lie in his life- they're literally walking on a mountain path, _where_ could they do an arm wrestle? But he nods along, cursing Cloud in his mind.

"An arm wrestle, huh?" Aerith says, eyes twinkling. "Maybe you'll-"

"I can beat you in an arm-wrestle, blondie!" Yuffie yells at Cloud, and astonishingly, it's the second time her obnoxiousness has saved the day. Maybe she's worth having around after all. "Just get your skinny ass over here!"

"Nobody asked you!" Cloud hollers at her. "Just shut up, all of you! We're takin' a break, and that's that!"

He looks like he's going to spontaneously combust. In spite of everything, a laugh escapes Barret's lips.

"What're _you_ laughing at?" Cloud demands.

"Nothin'," Barret says. "Nothin'. Thank you, Spike."

Those eyes, half-irritated, half- nervous and all too intense, fixate on him for all of five seconds. Then Cloud whirls around. "It's fine. Red! Where's the ice materia, I need a drink!"

Huffing, Tifa walks down the path to join the rest of them- Yuffie has flopped down and is lying spread-eagled towards the sky, Aerith sits down neatly, smirking at Cloud, and Red bounds towards the grumpy SOLDIER. Barret lowers himself to the ground with a sigh.

Cloud joins his side a minute or so later. He resolutely ignores Aerith's knowing grin.

**Author's Note:**

> ugh i don't know how to write


End file.
